Fire Emblem: And the Emblem of Fire
by Synth5.2
Summary: Be forewarned: This is a total crack fic, so don't expect a very serious storyline, nor should you take this work at face value. It's just a bit of fun for when my mind is running wild.    Still, hope you enjoy it.


Eliwood leaned back on his glorious throne, bored from the pimping that had ensued all day, and slightly tired, if only from the repetition his pimping had begun to have as of late. "Huh... the boredom from my pimping consumes me so much. Why can't we have more to fight? This pimping is fun, but I haven't had a fight in a while" Suddenly, Eliwood noticed something on the wall, it was a switch which he had somehow neglected to notice. "I wonder..." He pulled the lever, and the walls behind his throne fell. Behind the wall was a large, metal factory, filled with giant... what appeared to Eliwood as a giant mechanical... human-like thing. It was red and each hand held a large, long object.

Eliwood climbed up the stairs and went into the chest of the giant man. As he did, the chest closed behind him, and the chamber turned dark. "READING DNA... SCANNING... SCANNING..." A voice said from somewhere. It sounded as soulless as the morphs that Nergal had made before. "DATA CONFIGURATION COMPLETE. DEM-002 ACTIVATED. ARMAMENTS: TWO RAILGUNS. TWO SHOULDER MACHINE CANNONS. TWO WRIST RAPID-SHOTGUN-COMBINATION CANNONS. TWO MACHINE CANNONS ON UPPER THIGH HIDDEN UNDER PLATING. ONE BEAM SABER.  
FIVE CHEST MOUNTED BEAM RAPIDCANNONS. EACH RAILGUN IS LOADED WITH ONE NUCLEAR WARHEAD AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO THE METAL SLUGS."

Eliwood scratched his head. "What is... a railgun...?" The room lit up, but it appeared as if he were floating. "OMNIDIRECTIONAL MONITER ACTIVATED." Eliwood was slightly afraid, though his obvious badass face was still put on. He sat in the seat in front of him, and the controls for the large man-machine appeared. A small thing, about the size of his hand, appeared in front of his eyes, and began to emit a red light. Eliwood began to shake, but he would not falter. The machine drew back, and Eliwood's mind began to race. "NOVICE PILOT TRAINER ACTIVATED." On the outside, the machine walked through another metal door in the back of the already large metal chamber.

"How... did I not notice my castle had all this unaccounted for space." Eliwood shrugged. "Obviously these all day pimping sessions are tiring my brain."

The room they had entered was filled with targets, like the ones for archery training. "Hmm..." He began to touch on the controls, it seemed he had inherently learned how to pilot this thing. The robot raised its arm and steadied it. The railgun opened, and electricity ran between the long prongs. It fired a shot, with a slight recoil hitting the target right through the middle.

This long training sessions went on for hours, and Eliwood mastered the DEM-002's controls. He began to wonder though... if this was the second model, where was the first. "Magical voice! If I am in the number two of this Dem thing, what about the other one?"

The computer replied: "THERE ARE THREE INSTALLATIONS OTHER THAN THIS. ONE IN OSTIA. ONE IN LAUS FACILITY CONTAINS MANY MASS PRODUCED BUT SIGNIFICANTLY WEAKER MODELS. THE OSTIAN ONE CONTAINS THE DEM-001."

"Well then magic voice. TO OSTIA!" Eliwood said, firing a hole in the roof using the railgun and flying through it. He put the railguns corssed on his back, looking badass. "Also, magic voice, may I call this thing the Durandal? It is much better than the other durandal."

"NAME CHANGE CONFIRMED. DEM-002 IS NOW DESIGNATED DURANDAL."

Eliwood made the newly named Durandal dash at full speed towards Ostia, knowing he would have to cross through Laus. However, Erik was nowhere near as badass as him. Besides, if Hector found his... man-machine thing, then he and Eliwood could be bros in their man-machine things! Brohood is all that mattered.

The machine reached Laus, but an missile flew into Eliwood's mech. "What!" The mech landed on the ground on it's feet, with Eliwood's new piloting techniques. He saw in front of him many purple, smaller mechs, in an odd formation. "Well... it seems Laus has found theirs..." And with that, Eliwood dashed at them, pulled out his beam saber. He cut through the one that shot him down, and then grabbed the upper half, and threw it at another, making it collapse. It seemed all of these units only had melee weapons, besides the lead one that shot him down. Eliwood cut through another immediately, and it fell in half. The others were tightly packed in front of him, and Eliwood smiled. He raised the arms and the wrist plating slid back, revealing the fire, Eliwood tore through the remaining group, causing great explosions. "This... is a much more efficient way of combat..." He continued back towards Ostia, until he noticed something... The castle, the whole castle, was covered in mechs like he just encountered.  
The robot raised it's arms, and stood erect in place. The leg plates slid open, and so did the chest. Durandal unleashed a full volley of fire on the robot army before him. Eliwood, with his near perfect eyesight, hit every mech with every shot fired, even the shotguns, not one shot was stray. He then grabbed both railguns, and fired the shots at the castle, causing it to collapse. Eliwood smiled, the light in the cockpit gleaming off of it. 


End file.
